Maybe you got used to me writing nice and informative articles that bring happiness, smile and knowledge. Well, today I don’t know how many smiles my article will bring … but it felt the right time to write it. Today’s theme is related to femininity … to hurt, repressed, misunderstood femininity. I hope that the men who read this won’t see just the negative parts, but the educational ones too (isn’t it said that women should also come with a instruction manual for better understanding their complexity?). Before diving into the subject, I want to express my respect and gratitude to all those strong and honest men who know how to guide and help with their determination and clarity the female presence in their lives, and the women who know how to express their refined sensuality and discover the magic that emerges from the conscious experience of sensitivity.
A week ago I got a short video on FB from my friend, Adelina. A video that triggered such strong feelings in me that it took me a week to put into words what I experienced. I will attach the video material I am talking about in the post, I suspect it will be leaving an impression for you too.
The catastrophic lack of education in this area related to sexuality, sensuality and femininity is so disturbing to me. It is equally disturbing that this reality is still very alive in 2020. And although it appears from the video that it happens in rather underprivileged communities and countries, I tell you clearly that we are hitting this reality also in the big cities, and, surprise! … even in the middle of supposed elevated and educated communities
I think that we carry, in some way, maybe genetically, decades of shame and repression of the full expression of femininity. Especially for those born in countries were communism was a hard and oppressive political regime. Generations of women did not know how to love and understand their bodies. We do not do this even now, although we make-up nicely and dress colorfully. This apparent trust in women’s power is so thin and so great is the pit of sadness behind the still unripe beginnings of assuming femininity. I meet dozens of wonderful women at courses, women who work with themselves, who want to discover, express themselves and who make superhuman efforts to heal the pains of the feminine family tree. I admire and respect you and thank you, all those who put on the bricks to build change and evolution. Not rarely have I seen how much suffering women, even the brave women I talk about, have stored in their bodies. Smiling aside, we often see that years of sadness are hidden, that women who do not live with joy and naturalness are hidden in their relationship or in the families in which they are. I admire those who have the power to let their vulnerabilities be seen and have chosen to put themselves in the service women’s healing. I have friends whom I love dearly and thank them for all they do, they are our modern priestess and healers.
Such a woman, dear to me is my friend Liana. She organizes women’s gatherings and invites, with gentleness and strength of character, to a transformative exploration of the fascinating depth of femininity. A few months ago, at such a meeting (the Women’s Council) the topic of children and births was discussed. I will not go over the details now, I just want to share with you a moment of that evening that overwhelmed me. We were 6 participants and suddenly, entering the life stories of women in our family, a great sadness, shame and physical pain hit us. I realized all the stories of abuse or violation of the sacred space and concept of femininity lived in the families of each of us. Oh … how much lack of openness, how much embarrassment in opening up to others and ourselves, how much pain. It’s hard for me to write about this even now, months away. What I want to convey to you, everyone, is that many of these unhealed wounds are still in us. And this is how, in 2020, we still have to clean the shame and trauma caused by an amazing lack of knowledge and openness. How many of your mothers or grandmothers have fully experienced their femininity? Who did they talk to when they were vulnerable? How did they interact intimately within the couple? We are not talking about this yet … we still chuckle about this subject when we are 14-15 years old, ashamed of the subject, and we wake up when we are 20, 30, 40 y.o because we know nothing much about our miraculous female essence and bodies.
Do we all have the courage to dare to heal ourselves? I invite you to remember your childhood, your adolescence, the first menstruation, the first kiss, the first love, the incursion into senses, touch and sensuality and so on. What do we discover? We watch amazed the short movie I mentioned and see women who are so little living in their body fully, but how many of us treat our body as a temple? How many of us are hiding suffering in our bodies and have not yet had the courage to see what hurts and how to say it? Not many years have passed since I had conversations with friends of my age or even a little younger, finding out how many risks we have taken by learning on our skin things that have never been discussed with us. And not because our elders didn’t want to discuss it, but because they didn’t know how or what to discuss about.
We are accustomed to the fact that love is in certain ways, that sexuality is also drawn in fixed lines. But how much do we know and respect our body, our experiences, our individuality? How many of us communicate openly with our partners and how many of us have suffered silently years in a row? Do you express all of your femininity? Did your mother express it fully? what about your grandmother? What did you/we inherited as a belief system? How did we feel when we were ignored? Or cheated on? How did these wounds feel in our family tree and your nation? I’m sorry if I scratch deep wounds, but we can’t do real progress if we don’t heal our feminine wounds. In order to have men more present, more sensitive and more aware, it is necessary for us to live and fully express our own femininity.
I embrace you with love!