After a long period of ignoring my passion for writing I decided today to return to the it. I woke up this morning with a huge thrill to finish reading a book I liked a lot : Warrior Goddess ( I’ll write about it an article in the blog category The book of the week). As soon as I read the book, I got off the bed in a catching enthusiasm and my revelations have been pouring through me.
Many of you already know about my deep passion for self-knowledge. One of the systems which helped me in this ”game” bears the name of Gene Keys. Rolling my profile on all sides, about a year ago I came to the conclusion ( which I too timidly and narrowly shared outwardly) that the essence on one’s profile can be read in the sphere called Pearl. As I am the person who often searches for new information and interesting facts, decoding a tangled profile became exhausting. Moreover, I nearly got into psychosis. I understood that this Pearl sphere so simply and clearly tells the individual’s story. It’s like a button to push when we get lost in the crazy and endless shadow work.
My Pearl sphere is key 16 in line 3. Or, in a friendly language The Magic Genius in the Celebration Line. The dark side of this key is the Indifference, which in my case plays more as Laziness, whereas the gift and grace sides have much more pleasant names: flexibility and mastery.
Both the message of the book I read yesterday and the message of the this key helped me understand where the self imposed limits are in my life and which areas can bring lot of joys. Though I’ve always been aware of my own flexibility, I often felt ashamed when expressing it. It might have been a bit of culpability or a steady disadvantageous comparison with the others. The eternal obsession that I have to be good in something unique and clear made me feel ashamed of my too many hobbies. Finally, the elucidation ( which you also may have had) came. ” This is my goal, my job. I’m very good at this and all the rest are just hobbies or fun ways to spend freetime. My greatest shame as a flexible person( even a shapeshifter) was: I’m not good enough in X, Y, Z topics, I’m rambling too much and I don’t get stabilized in anything. The good and succesful people are those focused on one thing only, officially recognized in one field. In order to be appreciated I have to be as good, even better. I have to constantly specialize, to be a notable figure in only one chosen field”. What was the result? I followed my many passions away from the public, choosing to selectively show my different sides. Some people knew me as the aerobic trainer, others as the lively dance teacher or the serious always studying girl that got her PhD at the age of 28. Many considered me a free spirit artist working when/as I pleased. All these delimitations that never found peace on a common ground made me tired and diminished my enthusiasm in time. From the 5 passion gifted person , I became an indifferent spirit floating on her native talents.
This morning I realized the big wound of the Shapeshifter’s shame,I feared to show all my skills simultaneously, presenting myself totally.
Starting from this moment I choose to show who the real me is and not be embarrassed when answering questions like: ”Oh, are you good in astrology? Do you teach courses on femininity to mature women while you only started womanhood and discovering life? Oh, you work with children? You paint on water and create?
Yes, I am passionate about life and I find joy in many things I treat passionately and seriously. I choose not to create different pages on each field I am working. I’ll show myself as a whole here and now
What I do passionately do in the direction of my mastery?
I draw and paint in different techniques( using ink, acrylics or the marbling tehnique).
I write ( I’m now working my first novel).
I enjoy doing astrology readings, discovering personal profiles and talking about subjects concerning self-knowledge in all kinds of systems.
I dance and motivate others to move and get in touch with their body.
I produce and decorate iron and wood objects. I am constantly launching new series.
I teach creativity workshops for children and adults.
I teach courses of self-knowing and femininity.
There are probably more to mention, but I better stop here today. From now on, I will publicly show my skills which are not only week-end hobbies but also fields in which I work with joy and determination. I believe in the whole-person and hope this article inspires you break free from your own shames and self imposed limitations.